


im rotting here today

by lionFromTheValley (pensiveAbstraction)



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkwardness, Embarrassment, Eye Contact, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pre-Relationship, Probably ooc, Self-Indulgent, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Revali, idk if im actually gonna get to any romance, no beta we die like the champions, quintessentially british, sensory issues, sixth-form au, this is primarily a way for me to air out & work through my issues in a totally safe environment, tonal consistency never heard of her, tonal whiplash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28979094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pensiveAbstraction/pseuds/lionFromTheValley
Summary: Revali is living an ok life, if somewhat stagnant. More often than not, he lingers in the boundaries of his comfort zone.Something about the boy with the sapphire eyes makes him want to change that.
Relationships: Link & Mipha (Legend of Zelda), Link/Revali (Legend of Zelda), Revali & Prince Sidon, Revali & Teba (Legend of Zelda), Revali & Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. just looking out on the day of another dream

**Author's Note:**

> A shamelessly self indulgent fic, which I'm hoping to give a somewhat satisfactory ending to eventually. The first time I'm actually posting a fic that I've written in a long while. 
> 
> Work title is from History of a Boring Town by Less Than Jake.
> 
> Chapter 1 title is from On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz

Revali glanced across the lunch table at Zelda as she spoke and held up her phone. 

"That's him," a blonde boy's instagram profile was displayed on her phone. "I asked Mipha about him because I was a bit curious, and I think I'm now an accidental stalker." Her face contorted in distress, obviously exaggerated for the story. 

"How the hell do you call it 'accidental' when you went asking around for information on him?" Revali chuckled at her reaction to his words. 

"Well, he's in my English Lit class. He seems really shy, so I just wanted to make friends with him. I figured a good way to do that would be to see if anyone I know also knows him, so they could introduce us and…" She became sheepish as she trailed off, her eyes drifting to the left. 

"And you couldn't bear to tell Mipha to stop talking because of your debilitating crush?" The girl shoved him, frowning and huffing as her cheeks lit up magenta. He snickered and lifted his hands to defend his face. 

As she settled down, she pouted and fixed her gaze on the ground. "... Yeah." Her eyes darted over to the other side of the cafeteria before going down again, telling Revali that a certain gentle redhead from the year above was over there. 

"What did you say his name was?" Revali took mercy on her because he didn't particularly want to be dealing with combusted friends on a November Monday of all days. 

"Link Rainer. Apparently his old school shut down. Him and Mipha were actually friends online for a long time, and she said he sounded really excited to be coming here, but he's a pretty anxious person so he's very shy and doesn't like talking to new people a lot. He's really good in class; we were peer marking for an essay we wrote the other day and I got his. The way he wrote was just… He pulled this whole new layer of meaning and symbolism out of the text. It was so impressive! I never even considered that angle of analysis as a possibility!" Zelda quickly fell into rambling and Revali blinked for a few seconds at the speed of that info-dump. 

"Hey, why're you telling me all this? I've never even seen the guy, honestly." He fidgeted as he spoke, looking off to the side. 

Zelda stopped speaking with a sheepish grin, laughing a little before changing the subject to talk about their plans to start a dungeons and dragons club with a few friends. Revali enthusiastically got out his phone to share some pdfs of handbooks and character sheets (which he'd acquired through some less than legitimate means) with her.

As the bell went off, Revali shoved his phone into his rucksack and stood up, keen to get to his favourite psychology class. The flow of students out of the room quickly picked up and as he joined the fray, he couldn't help noticing a short blonde with a ponytail passing by in the rush. 

~~~

There was a residential trip being held in a few months and Revali and Zelda both wanted to go. They sat discussing it while they were eating. 

"Who else is going? I definitely am, but…" Revali scowled and mumbled, embarrassed, "My Mum wants to know that I won't just spend a week in loneliness." He knew she just wanted to make sure he was doing okay but that didn't stop him feeling a bit infantilised by it. Still, he knew Zelda wouldn't judge him, just do a bit of harmless teasing. They'd been friends since year 7 and by now she was acutely aware of his social… issues? She was there on the trip in that year where he spent practically all his free time sitting alone in a tree, listening to cheesy pop punk and daydreaming about Mipha's brother rather than talking to anyone. God, he was cringing just remembering it. 

"Well I know Urbosa and Daruk'll be there. I overheard Teba and Harth talking about it the other day. Mipha said she and Sidon will be going, " She smirked as he visibly winced at the idea of spending time with his ex-crush turned awkward acquaintance. "Link mentioned he might go when we were all talking about it in class yesterday."

"Huh. Anyway, who are you going to share a room with?" This was one huge thing that Revali felt the buzz of anxiety in his chest attached to. He wasn't looking forward to having to share a room with someone he didn't know that well. 

"Did you read the letter about it?" He shook his head. Zelda chuckled. "Of course not. Apparently we're getting into groups of 6 people from the same year group. There are a bunch of main rooms that each have 6 small single bedrooms coming off them. Since the bedrooms are separate and we're all oh so mature, they're allowing mixed gender groups." 

That made sense, and made him feel a bit better about it; he could group with Zelda, Harth and Teba after all, and even though they'd be with four others, the fact that he'd be sleeping alone in the room was soothing. Plus, the fact that the rooms were mixed meant he was less likely to experience inconvenience or unwanted distress about that particular aspect of the arrangement. 

"Pity it's only for the same year, you could've gotten some quality time with a certain swimming enthusiast." He was wondering when she was going to do something about Mipha. She'd been pining far too much for her own good in recent weeks. 

He was expecting her to blush, and she did slightly, but she also gave a smug look as she replied. 

"Can't say the same about you and her brother. I already asked him to group with me and he said yes," she giggled as the boy spluttered denials. "I'm kidding 'Vali, I know you don't like him like that anymore. I just thought you could finally clear up some of that awkwardness, since I invited him to be in the d&d group when we do finally start it." She patted Revali's shoulder, somehow managing to make the action seem both comforting and condescending at the same time. 

"Well, of course- I mean that is to say- that is acceptable, so long as there no well-meaning yet absolutely unwelcome attempts at untoward meddling in matters of a private nature." He huffed and crossed his arms, giving Zelda a stern glare. She covered her mouth and giggled again before getting a bag of cheese and onion crisps out of her bag. 

"I don't think I'll be able to do any meddling in anyone else's love life, pining's a full time career and I am totally entrenched at this point." As she spoke Zelda gave a theatrical look of despair, sighing before putting a handful of crisps into her mouth and chewing with a dejected crunch as she gazed off into the abyss. 

Revali was about to reply when someone sat down at the table with them, Zelda practically choking on her crisps as they did. 

"Hi Zelda, Revali." Mipha smiled as someone else sat down with her. Hold on, wasn't that- "This is Link." She gestured to the blonde boy who waved. 

Revali nodded slightly at him before pulling out a sandwich and pulling up twitter on his phone, already feeling his anxious awkwardness bubbling up and attempting to alleviate it by providing himself with a valid reason to avoid eye contact. Plus he was hoping to keep the amount of attention on him to a minimum and reduce the extent of how bad his first impression would be. He thought it better to give the impression of an apathetic dickhead than that of a stuttering, dimwitted fool which he was bound to give off in any situation where he endeavoured to lead a conversation with a stranger. Besides, he was feeling too fatigued that day to bother trying to figure out the correct facial expressions for conversing. 

As he was absent-mindedly scrolling on twitter, he twisted up one finger in the end of his scarf, sighing at himself. His heart rate was returning to normal, after having increased from anxiety caused by the stranger's intrusion. God, he really was just pathetic, wasn't he? He rolled his eyes and grimaced at his internal monologue, retweeting a cool piece of fanart that popped up. 

After a few bites of his food, he calmed enough to listen to the conversation happening around him; even if he wasn't participating, there was the possibility of picking up something slightly more interesting than the most recent inane fandom discourse. 

They were discussing roommates for the trip. Right as he started paying attention, he heard Mipha saying, "I'll be with Urbosa, Daruk and some others."

"It's so annoying that there's the stupid separate years rule or I could join you." Revali glanced up at the unfamiliar voice, confirming that Link was the one speaking. He laughed awkwardly as he finished speaking, making momentary eye contact with Revali who glanced away on instinct. That voice reminded him of something far off and nostalgic, something he couldn't quite pin down. 

Zelda replied with great enthusiasm, obviously jumping at the chance to help someone out, "Well, why don't you group with us then! We're in the same year, and we haven't gotten a full group of 6 yet. So far it's me, Revali and Mipha's brother, Sidon." She was grinning as she made the suggestion. 

"Don't forget about Teba and Harth. Hopefully they'll be with us too." He interjected, glancing up at Zelda with a small grin. For some reason, he felt like joining the conversation in that moment.

Of course, as soon as he tried to seem like a somewhat well adjusted, social individual, somebody sat in the chair right next to him and threw their arm over his shoulder, making him flinch slightly at the unexpected contact. 

"Unfortunately, that'll just be me. Harth's Dad said no, because of the roof incident." Revali gave a half-hearted scowl, side-eyeing Teba as he spoke. 

"Get off me asshole," Revali shoved him, unable to suppress the small grin he felt breaking across his face. "Besides, wasn't that years ago? Although honestly I can't fault his father for that decision now that I recall the event. Really, I don't even understand what he was hoping to achieve other than broken bones." He pinched his scarf between his finger and thumb, rolling them back and forth over the fabric in a relaxing way. 

"According to him, he was trying to get a good composition for taking a shot of the sunset. It sucks, but he didn't really seem all that bothered by being practically alone for a whole week. Apparently he's started a new project that's going to last at least half a year, so I doubt he'll be getting that bored." Teba grinned, and Revali noted to himself to ask Harth about it at some point; his projects were usually pretty interesting. 

All of a sudden, Teba's phone buzzed. He glanced down at it and grinned sheepishly. "Almost forgot why I came over here," he threw a somewhat overly cautious glance at Link and Mipha, nodded at Zelda, turned back to the boy with the scarf and spoke with a lowered voice and a reassuring smile, "Time to get to Ms Laurence's room." Revali nodded stiffly, putting away the remainder of his lunch. 

Since the school days were pretty long, he had to take off his binder for a bit in the middle of the school day. He usually went and sat in there for part of lunch with some combination of Zelda, Teba and Harth, finishing their lunches. He knew that if those two at the table asked, Zelda would tell them he was helping out a teacher or something. It wasn't that he was really in the closet about being trans; he grew up here, and quite a few people who he went to high school with came to this sixth form, so he was sure that some people had figured it out. He just didn't particularly want anyone knowing about these lunchtimes because 1) he was deeply uncomfortable being seen without his binder by people who weren't his closest friends or family and 2) there was, of course, the risk of transphobic assholes, and he'd prefer not to broadcast anything to them. 

He stood, limbs locked in a somewhat awkward position, bag on his shoulder. Zelda spoke, glancing at him with a sliver of concern in her eyes, "Do you need me to-?" 

"Nah. We'll be fine Zel." He smiled, reassuringly if not totally genuinely, cutting her off. The boy did appreciate her worry, make no mistake, but he raised one eyebrow at her, darting his eyes towards Mipha momentarily. He had a reasonable amount of certainty that Zelda's feelings were mutual and, though he didn't have any delusions of her confessing that day, he knew how much she enjoyed spending time with the older girl. A faint flush appeared on her cheeks as she plainly picked up his implication. 

As he turned to walk with Teba, he noticed a pair of somewhat curious, sapphire eyes pointing towards him. Something tangled up inside of him and he gulped as he turned away, feeling altogether too conscious of the way he held his arms. 


	2. a life no one could touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there's a scene that involves a character having a vividly described nervous episode based on and linked to their gender dysphoria. If that sounds like something which may affect you, I would suggest not reading, or at least reading with caution. 
> 
> [as a side note, that scene is based on my own experiences, so if you do have an idea what one would call it, it would be extremely helpful if you could comment it :) ] 
> 
> Chapter title from Prayer of the Refugee by Rise Against.

Revali was sat in his bedroom, pissing about as usual and wasting time looking at inane shit. He was scrolling through twitter, liking some of the nonsensically funny posts from his mutuals, muting accounts that were posting about ridiculous intra-fandom drama, when his phone buzzed and a notification for instagram dropped into his vision. 

God he hadn't posted for a long while on either of his accounts. He had a private one where he posted dumb absurdist-type memes to his friends, and a public account where he posted pictures of his drawings; he had no delusions of artistic mastery, but on occasion he drew something he was genuinely proud of and wanted to share it. He remembered that he'd done some little doodles using a different way of drawing hair, where he split it into tiny segments that followed the natural shape of the hair and drew individual strands into those segments to give the hair a more definitive sense of flow and volume. As a bonus, they were all doodles of characters from the same piece of media, making it easier to simply post them all in a single post. 

As his phone quickly vibrated four times successively in his hand, he remembered to go and check where exactly he had gotten these rapidfire notifications. He navigated to the app and was greeted by a group chat, for some reason named "camelot of assholes: the roundupp". He opened it and was immediately greeted by a barrage of what appeared to be… minecraft memes? Posted by Sidon Braden? Just why exactly had he been added to this group chat? He pulled up the list of people in the groupchat, trying to guess who would've added him. Ah, there it was: @zeldamphibia, also known as his dear, close, absolutely batshit bonkers. friend, Zelda Hyrule. Well Teba and Harth were also potential culprits.

Wow, there were a lot of people in this group chat, mostly ones who had been in the same friend group cluster he'd been conjoined to in high school. He was certain that at least some of them were aware of him being trans, which certainly didn't help with the already distressing amount of irrational anxiety about the group chat. Sick of always just allowing himself to fester in wondering about asinine bullshit, he decided to take on the no doubt gruelling task of scrolling to the top of the chat and finding out it's cause for being, so that he might better understand how he could contribute. At the very least, he wanted to know why he was being spammed with minecraft memes, of all things, by Sidon, of all people. 

He found that the minecraft memes had apparently been unprompted, that previously they'd been making jokes about king Arthur and Co. leading to the group chat's name, and that Zelda had started the chat because she'd been "bored as hell so what better way to cure this than with the presence of friends. also you are all legally required to stay and vibe (that means you, Vali)". This made the boy roll his eyes with a small smile. 

He scrolled back down to the bottom and checked his camera roll for shitty memes, found one he deemed the appropriate balance of edgy, nonsensical and non-controversial and hit send, tagging Zelda. Since they were sending memes anyway, he may as well make use of his too large stash of the buggers. 

Since the universe had apparently dropped a new time waster into his lap upon command, he reopened the list of people in the group chat. May as well look through the accounts of his old high school classmates, see what some of them were up to these days. As he idly skimmed the list, following the ones whose names he recognised, one name caught his eye. Link Rainer. Well, it would make sense to follow him as well; after all, they were going to be living in somewhat close proximity for a week. Not to mention the fact that Zelda seemed rather determined to fully adopt him into their friend group. Revali had yet to have a conversation with the boy, but he had noticed the increase in his presence during break times, free periods and the first part of many lunches. He'd gotten the feeling of somebody's gaze on him on some of those occasions, though he'd simply chalked that up to his preposterously huge potential for megalomania-based-anxiety. A few instances of momentary eye contact didn't suggest anything outside of the fact that he was obviously getting way too comfortable with never having to look people in the eye.

Quickly giving in to the pull of curiosity, he opened the boy's profile. There were a couple of photographs of the sky, some figurines and drawings of futuristic looking mechs. A bit further down, there was a photo of Link sitting with two other boys, an endearingly mischievous grin on his face. Apparently the photo was posted a year ago. Damn, he really didn't post very much did he. Revali backed out of the profile as the thought occurred that this was probably a somewhat creepy thing to do.

He switched back to the groupchat which had once again been hosed down with memes by Sidon, this time a combination of relatable™ memes and ones which referenced this one book series that he remembered chatting with the other boy about quite a bit around the time that whole crush thing was going on. Sighing, he smiled slightly, double-tapping on a few of Sidon's messages before switching back to twitter. 

There was something in the back of his mind making him almost want to start some kind proper conversation in the group chat. In the end though, he left it; it didn't really matter all that much anyway. 

~~~

A hasty, uneven breath. Hands clenched hard into the flesh of his arms, knuckles straining. His throat felt as if he were choking, or as if he was about to throw up. He couldn't really tell. All he knew was that he wouldn't have been able to say a word had he tried to speak. 

A strangled sob wrenched its way out of his mouth. His vision was blurred and he made little choked whimpering noises every so often. 

He pulled his scarf off his neck, attempting to ward away the awful heat penetrating every inch of his flesh. Hands shaking, he wrapped the scarf around them, rubbing the pads of his fingers over the soft fabric repetitively. His senses were painfully focused on the awful feeling of the fabric between his legs and over his chest. The sensation made him let out another, louder sob. He muffled this one by pressing his scarf covered hands to his mouth, closing his eyelids tight.

He shifted his thighs, attempting to displace the clothes to a more comfortable position, but no matter how he positioned himself the itchy, disgusting feeling persisted. In his mind, he was screeching the word 'why' over and over. He felt gross and wrong. All he could feel was a skin-crawling, psychosomatic sensation of burning incongruity in those two areas, his own clothes clinging to him and making him want to scream. 

No matter how much he tried to divert his train of thought, thinking about his favourite tv series or feeble attempts to idly wonder about what his friends were doing right now, the tactile torture pulled him further into despair. Tears were pouring down his face and his sobs were getting faster and more panicked. His entire body was stuck in a shuddering gridlock and he felt the overwhelming instinct to run somewhere secluded and hide, which was absurd because he'd already done that. Sitting outside, between two of the college blocks in a little corner people rarely went to, he was drowning. 

After a few more choked sobs and a few more attempts at shifting his thoughts away, he was certain that it wasn't working. Deciding to try a new approach, he closed his mouth and slowly ran his tongue over the inner side of his teeth, attempting to form a mental image of their 3d shape, taking careful note of the little chipped edges and their barely noticeable asymmetrical positioning. At the same time, he took one of his hands away from the scarf and scratched at the area below one of his eyes with his index finger's nail. His aim was to overwhelm his senses in other areas of his body and distract his tactile awareness, diverting his physical perceptions rather than his mental ones. 

He wasn't quite sure how long it took, but eventually the clouding in his mind began to pull back, inch by inch. As the choked feeling in his throat slowly became slightly less severe, he took deep, calming breaths. More often than not, those breaths came out uneven and stuttered with what felt like echoes of sobs. The cold air began to affect him slightly and he nearly started loudly crying again - this time out of relief - when he started to shiver. 

The river of nervous energy coursing through him shrank down, flowing much slower. His breathing evened out and the icy bite of the breeze on his skin helped in bringing clarity to his mind. It made him aware that his cheeks were damp with tears, which he wiped away with his scarf before wrapping it back around his neck. He leaned his head back against the wall behind him, looking up at the sliver of sky above him visible, between the two buildings. 

A moment passed as he stared blankly at the passing clouds. He sighed in a combination of relief at the descending calm, and disappointment in himself. How did he constantly find new ways to turn innocuous, everyday situations into him throwing himself a pity party. Scowling, he wiped his already mostly dry eyes with his scarf, shakily got to his feet and dusted himself off. 

The cause of his emotional collapse was simply mundane. He was taking psychology, and quite often they went into the biology of certain aspects. Though somewhat faint-hearted with that sort of thing, he had improved quite a lot and usually coped well enough. Until they switched to a new topic: Gender. They were meant to research the effects of different sex hormones on the body using their phones. He'd managed to barely make it through the lesson, rushing to an isolated spot as soon as the bell rang, blinking rapidly to maintain his vision. 

After taking a moment to steady himself, he made a beeline to where the old, tiny, single-cubicle, unisex bathrooms were, barely used by anyone other than him. There was no doubt that, despite being dry, his eyes were still red in a way that made it obvious what he'd been doing and he needed somewhere to lock himself with a mirror so he could attempt to remedy the situation, 

Overly focused on getting to his destination as quickly as possible, he failed to notice the person walking towards him as he rounded the final corner in his path. The collision sent him tumbling back, landing flat on his ass. Rubbing his forehead in frustration at himself rather than out of pain, he mumbled incoherently before letting out an apology as he looked up. 

Cerulean met his eyes and he nearly muttered several curses.

"No proble-" The other boy paused, concern flooding his features as he no doubt recognised the signs that Revali had been crying. "Hey, wait. Are you okay?" 

A brief, boundless moment passed as Revali's thoughts accelerated in a search for some believable response. He stared blankly for a moment. No excuses came to mind. 

Snapping out of his stupor, he stood and threw an empty, obvious lie: "I'm fine. Allergies. Hay fever acting up." It was December. 

Slightly panicked, he rushed past, towards his initial end. There was half an hour until his next lesson and he was determined to be rid of all indications of his breakdown by then. 

He told himself to pay no mind to the gentle, worried skepticism he'd caught forming on Link's face. 

~~~

The light gaze he'd occasionally felt on days before, had become a scorching stare that made his neck hairs stand on end. At first, he'd attempted to ignore it by staring blankly down at his phone and robotically eating his lunch, barely noticing his actions until all the food was. gone. His left leg was bouncing and the index and middle fingers of his right hand were tapping against his thigh. Frowning slightly, he focused and stopped the movement, leg completely static and tapping replaced with snapping his fingers once, twice or thrice every minute or so. 

Of course he knew what it was about: The blonde was naturally curious about his breakdown and possibly a little bit concerned. It wasn't malicious, deliberate or intentional. That knowledge didn't really ease Revali's mind. Regardless of how well-meaning Link was in his relentless, wordless attentiveness, he didn't want or need it.

So the other boy had caught him in a brief moment of weakness where he'd let the dam break in an unexpected burst of stress. He'd been carefully trying not to let anything like that happen outside of his bedroom for such a long time. He'd kept his state steady for such a long time. He'd managed until today.

Realising it was unlikely that the other was going to get distracted and just forget about it, the blue-haired boy sighed. He sent messages to Zelda and Teba letting them know he'd go to Ms Laurence's room alone - citing a need for quiet that day - before mechanically shoving his stuff into his bag, standing up and walking out of the cafeteria. 

The walk there was somewhat peaceful, with him humming the bassline to Seven Nation Army in time with his footsteps for some reason. Despite this usually being tje time of day where he was the least comfortable of all, he felt an increasing sense of ease at the thought of getting away and trying to process things; he usually did his best. self-reflection in the wake of his breakdowns, after all.

His ears caught a set of footsteps evenly following behind him, but told himself he was just being paranoid. Link was clearly somewhat curious, but surely the blonde wouldn't actually go out of his way to satisfy that curiosity, right? Either way, Revali didn't particularly want to find out, so he just quickened his pace. 

Unfortunately, he'd forgotten that in order to get into the room, he'd have to unlock the door. This wasn't usually a problem, since Teba usually brought the key but… Maybe he should have thought out this whole thing. 

Sighing, he pulled out his phone to see that Teba had already messaged him condescendingly about the key. He replied, asking if he could bring it over quickly. 

After confirming that the message had sent, he leaned against the wall beside the door. His eyes fixed towards a point high up on the opposite wall of the corridor as he hummed the bassline again, and couldn't help twitching his hands in a way that mimicked how they moved when he actually played the line. The rhythm it enforced on his body and mind eased the buzz of the slight charge that had built up in him over those tense moments in the cafeteria. 

A few minutes later he heard what sounded like three sets of footsteps coming along the hall, one significantly quieter than the other two. Looking towards the noise, he saw Zelda and Teba both coming towards him at a languid pace. She was tugging at the hem of her shirt, his brows were ever so slightly furrowed. 

They greeted him and Teba handed over the key as the blonde girl hovered beside him, obviously wanting to say something. Her expression steeled slightly. 

"Revali, I know you said you just wanted quiet, but a moment ago you seemed… Jumpy. I just came to ask you- There isn't any other reason you want to be alone, is there?" She started off speaking hesitantly, but by the end her words were resolute and she looked at him with stony, determined eyes. Obviously, she wasn't buying his bullshit. 

Revali sighed slightly, snapping his fingers on his left hand three quiet times. "Well… After psychology I had some kind of anxiety attack. Possibly, I think? I don't want to say for sure and assume anything. It was like one of my panicy episodes but worse, more charged with significant emotions. I got into a really bad dysphoric headspace and that kind of triggered it." He decided to omit the run-in with Link, though he wasn't really sure why. It just seemed like a good idea in the moment. 

"Oh 'Vali. Can I-" She raised her arms. He nodded slightly and was immediately engulfed in a double hug. A slight irregularity in his breathing popped up, reflecting the broken, muffled sobs from earlier except out of gratitude this time. Warmth welled up in him and the corners of his mouth raised a few millimetres in a tiny, watery smile. 

They let go and pulled away, both focused on his face. "Do you still want to spend the rest of lunch alone? We wanna be here for you, no matter what, but if you're feeling overwhelmed that's ok. So long as you're not going to just spend the time talking bad about yourself to yourself, we'll go if you need." Teba was obviously displeased with what he was suggesting, but that discontent was evidently overshadowed by wanting to help out his friend. 

"Thanks guys. I really appreciate you both so much. I'm doing better now than earlier, but I do think some silence and a lack of stimuli in general for a bit will probably help tackle the last dregs of my residual nerves." A sheepish but genuine smile was on his face as he looked them both in the eyes before his gaze retreated to its regular focus on the ground.

"Okay, but I do think you should talk to a teacher or your parents about these 'panicy episodes'. Even if you're used to dealing with them through your own methods, that doesn't mean it's a healthy way to do it. If you feel even a hint of another episode coming on, please message us immediately." The blonde girl's voice was firm as she made her suggestions and demands. She hugged him quickly once again before turning to walk back the way she came. 

Teba threw on a somewhat forced smirk. "Yeah, you need anything at all kid, tell us. Anything at all." It was obviously an attempt at riling him up to lighten the mood. Revali took the bait. 

"I'm literally 5 months older than you, don't call me 'kid'." He grinned at Teba, who returned it, looking somewhat reassured as he ruffled the already wild blue hair before turning and walking the same direction as Zelda. 

Revali turned to the door, shoving the key in the lock and jiggling it to achieve the correct angle to unlock it. As he felt the mechanism click beneath his fingers, a faint set of footsteps could be heard from not too far down the corridor. They got quieter as they went on.


	3. i don't know whether that does you any good, but there's something out there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Contact by Daft Punk

Months passed and Revali's brief mid-crisis encounter with Link slipped his mind. There remained the presence of accidental, silent eye contact with the other boy. Revali had to talk himself down from thinking it had any deeper meaning a couple of times. He wasn't quite sure exactly what meaning he was repeatedly almost taking from the occurrences; all he knew was that his heart rate spiked slightly whenever he was trapped in the moment by those shimmering oceans, in an unfamiliar, strangely palatable way. 

Soon enough, the last months of the year rushed by and winter break had passed. Nothing particularly interesting happened, the days blurred together and before he knew it, they were already approaching the end of January. Revali hadn't spoken a word to Link during this time, not that he cared of course. 

As the end of the month approached, Zelda and Revali decided to actually try and organise some sessions of their dungeons and dragons club. It took a few meetings before the whole group had actually each made a character, but until then they just played some practice rounds using pre-prepped scenarios and characters from Zelda's handbook. 

Enthusiastic as he was about the game, Revali had fully expected the whole social aspect of it to be an unpleasant source of distress to be pushed through. He wasn't particularly optimistic about any of that. It was a pleasant surprise to find out then that, given an activity which he was actually interested in and excited about which provided a framework for interacting with others, his social skills apparently improved dramatically. He even managed to make the others laugh a few times. 

After their first session of the actual campaign (in which Zelda was the game master), he found himself packing his things into his bag and having a comfortable, jokey conversation with Sidon. 

"Yes, I know they were a threat, but that didn't mean you needed to just keep eldritch blasting until one hit." The taller boy grinned as he spoke. 

"Well, if at first you don't succeed, and all that. Besides, you're one to talk, Mr 'climb on top of the caravan and attempt to shoot one guy in five from forty metres away with sand in your eyes'. If it weren't for that nat20, Yunobo's halfling would've certainly been skewered and we both know it." Revali nearly always found himself speaking a remarkable amount when in the club. He grinned playfully as Sidon let out a thundering chuckle, finishing putting the last of his stuff in his bag. 

Pulling his phone out and plugging in the earphones, he waved airily at Sidon and said, "See you tomorrow," as he walked towards the door. Still smiling, he opened the door and walked out into the corridor… Directly into the path of Link, who was walking past towards the exit of the school. 

Luckily he stopped before another collision occurred, jitter-stepping back and hastily spitting out an apology as he let the other pass. His face heated as he realised what an idiot he probably looked, walking obliviously out of a door with a giddy, airheaded smile on his face. 

He hesitated before walking, making sure Link was at least a few paces ahead as they walked in the same direction. For some reason his insides were bubbly and floaty, tinted with the most bizarre variant of humiliation he'd felt. 

As they both walked, Revali fumbled with his phone, trying to quickly shove the earphones in and put on some music to distract himself from the mild embarrassment. Unfortunately, the combination of him rushing and his hands becoming shaky for some reason caused Revali to drop his phone onto the floor with an echoing thud. 

A muttered stream of (probably too loud) curses left his mouth as he hastily bent to pick up the device. Luckily he used a wallet-style case for his phone, so the only thing shattered in that moment was his dignity. 

He was more careful this time, putting in the earphones before putting his 'fast&heavy hardcore af' playlist on shuffle and safely stowing the device in his hoodie pocket, resting his hands in there too. At that point, his face felt like it was going to start melting off his skull any second now. 

Of course he still had to walk that way, and as he stepped in rhythm with the drums, Revali saw Link a few steps ahead. He stood at the building's exit door, holding it open and looking right at the blue-haired boy. A tinge of amusement coloured his gaze and it looked like he was holding back his laughter. 

Revali distractedly wondered what the chances were of a person-sized sinkhole spontaneously opening below him as his cheeks were scorching. Sighing minutely, he concluded that his odds were abysmal and walked by the blonde. He squeaked out his thanks as he passed and thus resolved to find the nearest blunt object and introduce it to his skull, ASAP. 

Turning up his music to the point where it was probably audible to the other, he quickened his pace, eager to make his escape. Cheeks blazing, Revali speedwalked to the college gate and absent-mindedly wondered why he still felt all floaty. 

~~~

In the weeks approaching the residential trip, their friend group started spending lunch in one of the empty classrooms, sometimes playing card games, talking about dungeons and dragons or planning out what they'd do on the trip. Revali found himself often using free periods - on days where he had them - to take his binding breaks, in order to spend the whole of his lunch with his suddenly expanded social circle. 

An added benefit of this change in scenery was that, for the most part, Link didn't seem particularly interested in joining the group. Of course it didn't matter to Revali all that much, but it was nice; he got to decrease the frequency of that accidental eye contact. Those moments didn't bother him significantly, but it caused a burst of unnecessary confusion when he realised that at some point his typical action of quickly looking away had started being accompanied by blood racing to his cheeks. 

The possible meanings of that development weren't something he was eager to consider. He was completely fine burying his head in the sand and playing loud games of Uno with Zelda,Teba, Sidon and some others to distract himself whenever Link deigned to grace them with his presence. No he didn't put in more effort to loudly be funny on those occasions, his socialisation skills were just improving minutely through extended trial and error of course. Besides some of the times when Link was there, he simply spent the whole time sat in the corner drawing silently. 

It was lunch on Friday. On the following Monday, they would be arriving to the sixth form at 6am, ready to set off. Most of the people in the room were scattered across several desks, and there was a conversation going on about the trip. Revali was sitting close to Zelda, Mipha and a few others. He was half listening to the conversation and occasionally considered piping up, but most of his energy was being put into drawing. 

Usually his drawings were pretty homogeneous in their subject matter (head & occasionally shoulders of a random cartoonishly stylised character facing to the left with a ¾ angle), but in the past couple of weeks he'd done some experimenting. For a long time, he'd had a fondness for the works of a polish artist named Zdzislaw Beksinski, because of their immaculately dreamlike, eldritch, cryptid vibes, and had been trying to incorporate that into his doodles as of late. He'd turned his lack of ability to draw accurately proportioned human bodies into an advantage, by drawing grotesquely shaded, intentionally, bizarrely proportioned skeletal creatures, which were very fun to mess around with. Plus, the expansion of the amount that he drew per picture meant that he could experiment more with stuff like intentionally messy looking lines, and different ways of shading. It probably didn't really make as big of a difference to his little doodles as he thought, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it all the same. 

Becoming distracted by his thoughts, he predictably jumped a little when somebody sat in the chair directly next to him. He was expecting it to be Teba (and deep down, hoping for it to be Link), so he was mildly surprised when he turned to see Sidon there. 

Not entirely sure of an appropriate reaction, he nodded awkwardly towards the taller boy before looking back down at the paper and continuing with his doodle. In his peripheral vision he could tell Sidon was looking at his paper. The other boy appeared to keep looking for a moment, before turning away and rummaging in his school bag. 

Revali wanted to strike up a conversation to disperse the slightly awkward silence, but couldn't think of anything to talk about. He continued to doodle and ended up settling on the upcoming trip as a suitable topic. "Excited for Monday?" Turning his head towards the other boy, he made fleeting eye contact before his gaze slid quickly back to his drawings. 

"Oh, absolutely! I can't wait, it's going to be so fun." Sidon replied, enthusiasm dripping from his words. 

"I can understand, though I'm not looking forward to having to get up that early." He turned slightly towards the taller boy as he spoke. 

They spoke for a while and though Revali was enjoying the conversation, he couldn't help feeling a little drained; that was nearly always the case for him in one on one conversations. The ability to maintain half of a conversation without any particular purpose and manage to keep it entertaining was definitely not one he was gifted with. Luckily for him, some of the others in the room heard them talking and joined in. 

Now the conversation was between everyone in the room and Revali could peacefully listen to them speak and occasionally interject when he thought of something to say.

He glanced across the room at the others, about to make a sarcastic remark when he was caught off guard. Link had arrived at some point without Revali noticing, and the blonde was looking directly at him. They made eye contact yet again. Strangely, the urge to dart his vision away did not grip him instantly; instead he held the other boy's gaze, tilting his head slightly in a questioning manner. 

After a moment more of staring into the cerulean abyss and wondering why it stared back, Revali hesitantly looked back down to his paper, frowning slightly. His throat constricted, resembling how it felt when he was choking back sobs. There was this strange, magnetic emotion overwhelming him; not an unpleasant feeling, but more intense than anything he was used to. 

He couldn't help but notice that, while his thoughts were racing at their usual absurd rate, it felt like his entire being had slowed dramatically.


End file.
